From the end of the earth will I cry to you, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. - Psalm 61:2 (KJV)
Psalm 61 (MSG)
1-2God, listen to me shout, bend an ear to my prayer.
When I'm far from anywhere,
down to my last gasp,
I call out, "Guide me
up High Rock Mountain!"
3-5 You've always given me breathing room,
a place to get away from it all,
A lifetime pass to your safe-house,
an open invitation as your guest.
You've always taken me seriously, God,
made me welcome among those who know and love you.
This morning in church Pastor Steve spoke on prayer. You know how sometimes somebody will say something and it gets you thinking 'How have I never had that thought before?' I had that moment today. He was talking about how before we even speak one word in prayer to the Lord, that the most important thing we can do is in how we perceive the Lord is receiving our coming to Him. Is he excited to talk to us? Does he even care? Is He distracted with other matters?
I love this Psalm of David because it illustrates to me what it is like to come to God in prayer. 'Bend an ear to my prayer.' I picture God leaning in as I share my heart, completely engaged in what I have to say. 'You've always given me breathing room, a place to get away from it all.' Ah, breathing room. How grateful I am that I don't have to have this well rehearsed script to speak to the Lord. I can come just as I am.. and I don't know about you, but for me that more often than not means coming to Him confused, lacking direction, emotions strung all over the place, tired, heart overwhelmed, stressed out, disappointed, angry, scared, betrayed. In prayer I find my place to get away from it all, to breathe.
To offer a short personal update on my life: Things are going well for me.. it's been a season of blessing the past few months. I've seen the Lord fill up my life by meeting relational desires I've been carrying for awhile. This summer I have been able to get plugged into a small group at my church, and while I haven't been able to meet with them as regularly as I would like due to recent traveling, I am so excited that I have been joined with other young adults who are intentionally pursuing community with one another and willing to invest in each others' walk with the Lord. I'm also so thankful for those special people who are there to share in my everyday life.. for parents three minutes down the road to eat dinner with some days and ask how I'm doing, for a brother who will bring over popcorn and a movie to spend Saturday night just hanging out, for a boyfriend who even though he lives on the other side of the country will faithfully call every day to share and encourage me in my daily life, for sisters and brother-in-laws that are there when you need them, for extended family that you know cares deeply and supports you, for high school friends who are always eager to reunite over coffee, for college friends that exchange updates and keep in touch over a facebook group. Relationships matter and I praise God for filling those needs in my life.
Okay, I take back the 'short' in my previous 'short personal update' comment, haha. I would further like to note though that while it has been a season of blessing in my life, it has also been a stressful time of facing daunting decisions. This is what has me thinking about prayer tonight. Whenever there are big decisions to be made in your life, people like to tell you to pray about it. It's good advice. But today I'm changing my thinking on it. I think prayer should be more than I make it. I think it should be more than a list of needs that I read off to God or state to others during prayer request share circle. What if God cares enough about this to invite me into a conversation with Him that may last for hours? What if he is actively listening in to what I have to say? What if I could really take him up on his open invitation into His presence?
Father,
I want to practice this kind of prayer life that is available. I desire clarity in the decisions I need to make. I also desire for you to speak to the needs of those whom I love.. hearts that need healing, bodies that need rest, direction that needs to be provided. I am so guilty of excusing myself to wait until I feel settled in my own life until taking on a selfless attitude that can look upon others' needs and bring those to your throne on their behalf and engage those people and their situations. The thing is... I may never feel completely settled here. Landing on a place to live long term may help, marriage and starting a family may help, finding fulfillment in my career may help... but life is always changing and you never promised that there would be a day on this side of eternity where everything would be in place. I'm beginning to see that there is no better time than now to prayerfully practice a selfless love for others. Please help me take on this attitude and love others as you love them.
blessings.
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