Tears are falling, hearts are breaking
How we need to hear from God
You've been promised, we've been waiting
Welcome Holy Child
Welcome Holy Child
Hope that you don't mind our manger
How I wish we would have known
But long-awaited Holy Stranger
Make Yourself at home
Please make Yourself at home
Bring Your peace into our violence
Bid our hungry souls be filled
Word now breaking Heaven's silence
Welcome to our world
Welcome to our world
Fragile finger sent to heal us
Tender brow prepared for thorn
Tiny heart whose blood will save us
Unto us is born
Unto us is born
So wrap our injured flesh around You
Breathe our air and walk our sod
Rob our sin and make us holy
Perfect Son of God
Perfect Son of God
Welcome to our world
Friday, December 24, 2010
A Christmas Prayer
Father,
I was just thinking back to a year ago from tonight on last Christmas Eve. I remember struggling for words.. I didn't feel connected to You or to the Christmas story.. I remember feeling like I had absolutely nothing of value to write in a post for my friends during this sacred holiday season. That brought me to a place that broke my silence with You. I went back and read it with hopes of seeing a change in myself from that low place I was at during this season last year. But you know what's kind of discouraging, God? I look at myself today and all I can see is another year's worth of shame written on my life record. I don't really want to get into it all right now.. we've talked about it before and I know we'll talk about it again. But here on the night before we celebrate Your birth.. I'm stuck on the shame. How can You be this Holy, Perfect God.. and even consider sending Your Son into this fallen world? That's love.. That's a love I can't even begin to understand.
Love.. I have a hard enough time understanding how the people in my life can love me. How they can see all of my imperfections.. how I can continuely disappoint them, fail to engage myself in their lives, and even cause them pain.. and yet their love remains. They forgive me. They comfort me through my feelings of shame when it's them that I've hurt. They remind me of who I am. They know my past, they support me today, and they challenge me for tomorrow. And that's only human love.. Your love is so much bigger than what we are capable of...
I just don't get it. I used to feel like I was a fairly good person. I used to feel like if Jesus came to the world, maybe I might be someone He wouldn't mind hanging out with for a day. I don't feel like that anymore. Now I feel like if I were around when Jesus came into the world, I would really try to keep a low profile.. Though I would want to, I wouldn't feel worthy of even being in His presence. I wonder if anyone else felt that way during those years?
And then I look at the life of Jesus.. who He chose to spend time with and who He cared enough about to reach out and heal. And that makes me reconsider some things. Maybe Jesus would have been able to handle my shame. Maybe He would see me in town and come over and walk beside me and ask me how I've been. Maybe, like some of my friends did for me earlier this year, He would ask me out for coffee and we would sit down and He would calmly just ask me to talk to him, with a look of deep love and compassion in His eyes that let me know it was safe to let myself be vulnerable. Maybe He wouldn't pull out a list of everything I've done wrong in my life, but instead remind me of the endearing qualities He sees in me and talk to me about what the future holds and get me excited about growing into the person He created me to be.
Father, my prayer this Christmas is that I can learn to look at Jesus in this way. Though I may never in my lifetime understand how or why, I want to dwell on that kind of love.. Your love that would send Your Holy Child into our perversed world.. Your love that would enter this world and walk among sinners like me.. Your love that would die for sinners like me.. I'm not going to understand that love but I want to dwell on it this Christmas. I place my shame before You and I acknowledge that You can deal with it.. I don't need to hide from You. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can get between me and Your love for me because of the way that Jesus has embraced me. While hard to accept, I believe that God and I praise Your Name for it.
I pray this Christmas You will bless my family and friends. May they also dwell on Your love as they celebrate the season. Thank you so much for placing each and every one of them in my life.. whether they are someone I see daily or haven't seen in years.. I thank You for them. We love you Lord.
I was just thinking back to a year ago from tonight on last Christmas Eve. I remember struggling for words.. I didn't feel connected to You or to the Christmas story.. I remember feeling like I had absolutely nothing of value to write in a post for my friends during this sacred holiday season. That brought me to a place that broke my silence with You. I went back and read it with hopes of seeing a change in myself from that low place I was at during this season last year. But you know what's kind of discouraging, God? I look at myself today and all I can see is another year's worth of shame written on my life record. I don't really want to get into it all right now.. we've talked about it before and I know we'll talk about it again. But here on the night before we celebrate Your birth.. I'm stuck on the shame. How can You be this Holy, Perfect God.. and even consider sending Your Son into this fallen world? That's love.. That's a love I can't even begin to understand.
Love.. I have a hard enough time understanding how the people in my life can love me. How they can see all of my imperfections.. how I can continuely disappoint them, fail to engage myself in their lives, and even cause them pain.. and yet their love remains. They forgive me. They comfort me through my feelings of shame when it's them that I've hurt. They remind me of who I am. They know my past, they support me today, and they challenge me for tomorrow. And that's only human love.. Your love is so much bigger than what we are capable of...
I just don't get it. I used to feel like I was a fairly good person. I used to feel like if Jesus came to the world, maybe I might be someone He wouldn't mind hanging out with for a day. I don't feel like that anymore. Now I feel like if I were around when Jesus came into the world, I would really try to keep a low profile.. Though I would want to, I wouldn't feel worthy of even being in His presence. I wonder if anyone else felt that way during those years?
And then I look at the life of Jesus.. who He chose to spend time with and who He cared enough about to reach out and heal. And that makes me reconsider some things. Maybe Jesus would have been able to handle my shame. Maybe He would see me in town and come over and walk beside me and ask me how I've been. Maybe, like some of my friends did for me earlier this year, He would ask me out for coffee and we would sit down and He would calmly just ask me to talk to him, with a look of deep love and compassion in His eyes that let me know it was safe to let myself be vulnerable. Maybe He wouldn't pull out a list of everything I've done wrong in my life, but instead remind me of the endearing qualities He sees in me and talk to me about what the future holds and get me excited about growing into the person He created me to be.
Father, my prayer this Christmas is that I can learn to look at Jesus in this way. Though I may never in my lifetime understand how or why, I want to dwell on that kind of love.. Your love that would send Your Holy Child into our perversed world.. Your love that would enter this world and walk among sinners like me.. Your love that would die for sinners like me.. I'm not going to understand that love but I want to dwell on it this Christmas. I place my shame before You and I acknowledge that You can deal with it.. I don't need to hide from You. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can get between me and Your love for me because of the way that Jesus has embraced me. While hard to accept, I believe that God and I praise Your Name for it.
I pray this Christmas You will bless my family and friends. May they also dwell on Your love as they celebrate the season. Thank you so much for placing each and every one of them in my life.. whether they are someone I see daily or haven't seen in years.. I thank You for them. We love you Lord.
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