blue like jazz

In America, the first generation out of slavery invented jazz music. It is a free-form expression. It comes from the soul, and it is true. I think Christian spirituality is like jazz music. I think loving Jesus is something you feel. I think it is something very difficult to get on paper. But it is no less real, no less meaningful, no less beautiful.




hi friends,

first of all, I would like to say that I'm in love with photoshop. I finally have my own adobe software installed on my laptop and it's bringing me endless creative freedom and joy. :)

secondly, fun fact for the day: I used to play the saxophone. however, i was not good. not even a little bit. i envy those who can play well. or at all. i love that smooth sound. my sax never made such a sound.


and finally, it's time for another book review. here we go!

after a busy weekend, i was eager to get back to my reading. i sat down outside of starbucks on sunday evening and committed myself to finishing the first book on my reading list. the night grew dark on me and forced a relocation but i was not going to sleep until i finished this one. i was captivated.


Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller---

This book has been around for seven or so years now, it's a New York Times Bestseller and there's been more than one million copies sold (or so the cover brags)... but back in 2003 I was too busy trying to look cute for the junior high dance to open a book, so apologies for just now getting around to catching up on that which you all probably read years ago. {begin side note} You know what I think an awesome job would be? Getting to write book reviews. I suppose there are always freelance opportunities out there. Oh... possibilities! this is not to say i think of myself as a quality writer by any means though. i just think it would be fun to get paid to read books and then write about it. {end side note}

blue like jazz: nonreligious thoughts on christian spirituality. This is my favorite kind of book. It's the kind where the author shares their real life experiences with you while gravitating you to the truth they've discovered along the way. Maybe you'd call it a quality biography. Barnes and Noble might categorize it as Christian Inspiration. I haven't really come up with my own term for such a genre yet, but be assured i'm working on it. I look at this book as a collection of a man's life stories.. the seemingly little or life changing experiences of his life that have been in some way defining.. and what he learned and how he came to fall in love with the Lord through his journey. What I really like about Donald Miller and this book in particular is how he can write with a committed heart while still being real and culturally relevant as he deals with doubts, insecurities, and judgements through his stories. Sometimes I read one of these "Christian Inspirations" and while I may not question the truth it presents, I'm often left thinking how it all sounds good in theory but feeling this disconnect between myself and the author and sometimes even sensing that disconnect between the author and his or her own words. This was not the case with blue like jazz. To me it feels like a genuine account of faith as it brings to surface the uncertainties and even irrationality of living a life believing in and committed to this God that we serve. I finished this book reminded that it's okay not to have all the answers but reassured of the hope I have through my relationship with Christ. After all, there is worship in our wonder.

Miller prefaces his stories with this..

I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.
After that I liked jazz music.
Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.
I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened.

The rest of his story is yours to experience.

blessings.

discoveries

i discovered something today. i really enjoy morning time. especially early morning.. when it's still dark and foggy and the rest of the world is sleeping. i find it very enchanting. today i woke up at 5 am to meet a friend of mine for breakfast in celebration of his birthday. that's only about 6 hours earlier than i'm used to getting up haha. i love it. i'm highly considering getting myself on more of a morning oriented sleeping schedule..
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okay i'm real excited!!! haha so i was having some reading withdraw... and i've been going to all of these bookstores looking for a few particular books over the past weeks and have been rather disappointed that i can't find any Barnes & Noble or Borders that carries these books.. or maybe they do and I just suck at searching for them.. but anyways, I decided to order them online last night. I ordered a couple biographies of some women's different traveling adventures. and then this morning after breakfast, I figured since I was in Marion I should stop by Tree of Life bookstore to look for another book I was hoping to find (which I didn't) but they were having some good sales so I ended up buying 4 more books haha. I bought two donald miller books because i always hear good things about him as an author. the one i had started reading a couple summers ago when i borrowed a copy of the book from a friend, but apparently got distracted. the others were just random finds that looked good and were only $5 so i couldn't resist.


here's a list of the newest additions to my library. let me know if you're interested in borrowing any after (or before) I read them. p.s. that reminds me... I'm missing several books. do you have any of mine? lol

*a thousand days in venice by Marlena de Blasi
*tales of a female nomad by Rita Golden Gelman
*searching for God knows what by Donald Miller
*blue like jazz by Donald Miller
*the first drop of rain by Leslie Parrott
*questions to all your answers by Roger E. Olsen

and don't you worry... i'll be sure to give you my reader's review after i finish each :)
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last night i was driving back from fort wayne when my ipod that i was listening to died on me. rather than turning to the radio at this point i decided to see what cds i had left in my changer. in slot number one i came across my long neglected sugarland cd. i can't tell you how happy it made me haha. see, i feel like i have this special connection with sugarland. they taught me how to draw :) haha okay let me explain that further.. spring semester of my sophomore year I had to take my drawing 1 class independently with Prof. Hopper. We would meet for a couple hours every tuesday night in his old office on the third floor of becker. most nights after giving me some instruction he would let me listen to the music he had brought in and just go at it. from his cd collection, sugarland quickly became my default album. i would listen to them during our meeting times and when i would go into the studio outside of class time to work. they got me through many nights of pastel dusted jeans and feelings of absolute hatred with whoever thought up this brilliant thing called drawing in perspective. but now when i hear those songs, they bring me back to this place of bliss and inspiration and the joy of learning how to do something i never thought i could do. i love how music has that effect on us... i think music is more powerful than we even realize. it's crazy how a song can stop you in your tracks and completely turn your mind, your emotions, and your attitude around. which makes me wonder... do you ever think about how crazy amazing the music is going to be in heaven? after reading Don Piper's book 90 minutes in heaven, that's something i think about from time to time. i know the experience that he writes on is something that some people may have a hard time accepting, but i personally believe that it's possible he was given that glimpse of heaven. i found the first few chapters of that book really fascinating as he described his short experience of heaven. one thing from his description that has really stuck with me is how amazing the heavenly sounds were. i can't recall exactly how he described it but i remember how it made me yearn for heaven all the more.

no eye has seen
no ear has heard
no heart can fully know
how glorious, how beautiful you are

yin and yang of life

dear friends,

oh how I've missed you! /... making time for blogging. I think I've been punishing myself by not allowing time to write until I could make time to get my blog looking how I wanted it to look. However, that is yet to happen and I'm giving in to writing a post because well, I want to. And in the words of my ever wise roommate and dear friend Erica Abel "do what you want when you want." ah, words to live by :)

well, the summer continues to roll right along. some days are faster than others. some days make me feel a little less worthless than others. but, there's been some good growing points for me along the way. for now i just want to share with you two things that have impacted my life and the lives of many of my friends over the past couple weeks. I have much more I want to blog about later so stay posted, but for now..

a week and a half ago on july 10th i was given the pleasurable experience of serving as a bridesmaid for my sister laura's wedding. i've always loved weddings.. i love the dresses and the decorations and the dancing and the sense of the divine in that place.. and i just love all of the LOVE! and while there's something that feels honoring about being invited in to share in two people's special ceremony at all, there's something all the more special about being able to stand alongside the bride. it's this feeling of deep worth knowing that you have played a significant part in this person's life.. that you have partnered in their journey and that on *the most important day of their life* they want you by their side to celebrate entering into this new chapter of life that their journey has brought them to. it's beautiful. the entire weekend was filled with fun, food, family, friends, and fellowship. (i'm all over this alliteration today!) i feel blessed to have been able to share in such a great celebration of love.
congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Langebartels

(picture at top) sister Danielle, cousin Trisha, our bride, cousin Amber, me :)

sometimes i find life to be very paradoxical. it's as if God sees it fitting to balance every season of great joy in our lives with a season of great sorrow. it's crazy how one weekend you can go from celebrating a couple's new life together to the next weekend grieving the loss of a young friend. I'm not sure how many, if any, of my high school friends or even acquaintances stumble across this blog, but for those that do... to anyone who knew jared, my prayers are with you. I personally never knew jared as a close friend, but i know several of my good friends that did have the honor of sharing in his 21 years of life here. Sometimes even when you don't have a close personal connection, it still hits so close to home that you're just left asking why. I can't imagine how many times every hour that God hears that question. Why? I had a short conversation with a friend today and we talked briefly about God's will and His sovereign power over our lives. In her words, "God's will may be difficult, or even impossible to understand, but it IS perfect." I pray for peace in your hearts and comfort in your daily lives as we struggle through seasons of not understanding and maybe even wrestling with or feeling bitter towards our Lord. As one of my life songs says...

god is too wise to be mistaken.
god is too good to be unkind.
so when you don't understand,
when you don't see his plan,
when you can't trace his hand,
trust his heart.


father,
through celebration, through sorrow... in every season of our lives, YOU ARE STILL GOD. thank you for being our rock and for your unfailing love. blessings and peace to my friends.