bitterness

Let's talk about bitterness haha. I've been struggling a lot with a resentful attitude. It seems to be that this is Satan's biggest foothold on me. It always starts with a hurt from our past and discontentment in our present circumstance. If we allow it to grow we ultimately are giving it power to damage our relationship with God, put walls up between us and others, and keep ourselves from being who we are created to be in the image of God. I'm learning that bitterness, as all emotions, is a choice. Yes we all experience all emotions at some point whether we like them or not, but it becomes our choice what we choose to dwell on and what we choose to let guide our actions. Bitterness forgets hope. It misdirects our focus from God onto our problem.

I'm often guilty of letting my emotions control my life. I don't like to accept responsibility over them. I also struggle with a great deal of pride. When I am wronged or when I don't get what I feel I deserve in this life, my pride is quick to rise up in me. It demands justice and while I'm not one to often speak its demands, it yells inside of me until I give it control.

So that's where I'm at right now... caught in the battle of telling my pride to shut up and acknowledging that God is in charge of my justice.

Father, I don't understand emotions. They're silly, and frustrating, and wonderful, and distracting. I'm sure you get much amusement from watching us deal with them but I just pray they won't have control over me. Justice is in your hands. I know you desire the best for your children but I need your help to turn over my resentment to you and trust in your goodness towards me again. I need your help in focusing on the wonderful and beautiful things in my life. I need your help in enjoying and loving other people. Thank you for the work you're doing in me through this season. Thank you for the work you're doing in the lives of my friends. May we learn how to give you control over the negative emotions we may be harvesting in our hearts.. may we learn how to love you more... may we be encouraged that it's the valleys, not the mountain tops, that bear the most fruit.